Dear Dr. Katz
My husband often loses his temper whenever I give him a bad school report about our son and I can't stand it. I stopped giving him bad news reports because I fear he will lose his temper with me. When he finally gets the report card he gets doubly mad both at the report and the fact that I was keeping things from him. What can I do?
-In a bind
Dear in a bind
The family is the "classroom" in which children learn how to manage their emotions and impulses. Effective management of ones impulses and angry feelings is crucial to ongoing family stability and effective life functioning. Parents teach their children mainly by modeling...children copy what they see, they 'learn' to deal with frustration and manage their anger the way the parent's do it. Family life in addition to work life is filled with frustration and irritations which can lead to angry feelings and angry impulses so children are exposed repeatedly to their parents approach until they become masters at it. Your husband probably learned to deal with your son's bad report card by imitating the way his parents dealt with his bad report card and he was probably frightened of his parents' anger as you are now frightened of his. Call angermanagementnyc.net [212-228-2560] where Dr. Katz will help you and your husband to recognize and understand your early lessons in anger management and impulse control and develop more effective ways of anger management and impulse control.
- Dr. Katz